I’ll give him one of my stories to read and he’ll say things like, “This story feels orange to me.” So I thought it would be great to have her process things through this extra element. And then when I learned about synesthesia, which is when you feel and hear colors, I thought, “I really like this idea.” My husband actually has it. As soon as I pinned down who she was she was fully formed like that. Leigh just arrived in my head as someone who loved color.
I actually write terrible poetry, but I do create visual art for fun. The way Leigh describes the world around her and her relationship to color and how she envisioned her art felt very poetic to me.Įmily X.R. I reached out to Pan to chat about the misconceptions around mental illness, writing from a biracial teen’s perspective, and why she hates the term “tiger mom.” HelloGiggles (HG): While I was reading your book I kept wondering if you were also a poet. For readers of Asian descent who can’t quite relate to the stereotypical image of strict, no-nonsense moms, Dory’s attitude is striking (as is Leigh’s father’s insistence that his daughter be more academically oriented). Dory fully encourages Leigh’s interest in art and, as a former musician herself, finds joy in playing the piano.
In her author’s note, Pan reveals that she personally lost a loved one to suicide and wrote the book in part to make discussions about mental illness less secretive and to make families like Leigh’s feel less alone.īut in The Astonishing Color of After - which debuted in March and made the New York Times’ Best Sellers list - Pan is also careful to push back on the common narratives about Asian American mothers. The tight-knit community that surrounds Dory and Leigh is caring but unable to talk about the effects of mental illness on the Sanders family in an open or meaningful way. As someone who frequently reads young adult novels, Asian American narratives, and stories about the continuing stigma around mental health issues, I was immediately intrigued by the premise of Pan’s debut novel.
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